Celebrating

Theme colors.



I already missed my first Thursday I was scheduled to post for Thrifty Thursdays. Sorry I was so sick and not up to posting. You are welcome to explore the budget wedding collection I have assembled this past couple of weeks, all for well under $200, total (for full vow renewal, including cake and wedding party atire)! Hopefully I'll get back on track and into a posting rhythm soon.





I need boots for the support, in order to walk better, but they had to be cute!
My big splurge at $20 on eBay, with free shipping.



Some of the language choices here hurt my heart because I know they dishonor God, but the overall letter, from an adult daughter, to her own mother, also referencing the author's 3-year-old and grandmother, is so eye-opening! I'm planning to share a portion of this with my 11-year-old this afternoon, to give her insight into how the truth we know about beauty in childhood can be so shaped and manipulated by life!

Edible butterfly cake decorations.

---- Update : Had that special time with my daughter before I ever got to post this. I will update by saying THIS is another reason infertility hurt so bad, one of those "Mommy moments" I so yearned for and truly enjoyed! If you are facing infertility or pregnancy loss, please know you are in my prayers today! ----

For all moms of pre-teen or early teen daughters (around 10-14 years), I must highly recommend Queen Esther's Secrets of Womanhood by my friend Ginger Garrett. My daughter and I started her Esther Year this month and I am SO excited!!!

For lack of a better descriptive on my part, I guess it is sort of a devotional leader's guide for you and your daughter. It take's the story of Esther and unfolds 12 monthly "dates" for a mother and daughter, fun little beauty splurges (yesterday's was just a basic skin care lesson, but since we had already done that and both needed hair cuts, we got our hair cut together, then sat and talked at Starbucks) that are really just spring boards to talk about deeper heart issues and what God has to say on the topic of beauty. It is a few years old, so if your local Christian bookstore can't order it try Amazon, half.com or even eBay. So glad to have this book I've hung on to since my "baby" was little!

For lack of a better descriptive on my part, I guess it is sort of a devotional leader's guide for you and your daughter. It take's the story of Esther and unfolds 12 monthly "dates" for a mother and daughter, fun little beauty splurges our first was intended to be just a basic skin care lesson, but since we had already done that and both needed hair cuts, we got our hair cut together, then sat and talked at Starbucks) that are really just spring boards to talk about deeper heart issues and what God has to say on the topic of beauty. It is a few years old, so if your local Christian bookstore can't order it try Amazon, half.com or even eBay. So glad to have this book I've hung on to since my "baby" was little!

Someone Beautiful

Having lived through 13 years of infertility, miscarriage and adoption losses I know how painful this time of year can be. (Well, every day can be painful, but certain landmarks such as Mother's Day can hold an extra sting!) So I typically avoid the sappy typical Mother's Day posts like the plague.

Having so many friends who have lost their moms or who have poor relationships with these women even if they are still living, I realize how uniquely blessed to have a loving relationship with my mom. I feel it is important to take the time to honor those in our lives who have blessed us. So today I ask your indulgence as I introduce you to someone who has brought much beauty to my life.

My mom, Betty Camp, was just selected as a top five finalist for a Mom of the Year award for the way she has gracefully lived with Fibromyalgia while selflessly giving to help me survive and thrive through my own chronic illnesses.

Would you please join me in celebrating Betty by reading her story and voting for her with a "5 star" rating at http://www.fmcpaware.org/mom-2? Public voting (you will be asked to register for a username but can uncheck any/all auto-subscription boxes if you do not wish to receive email from the Fibromyalgia website) remains open through May 9, with the grand prize winner being announced on Fibromyalgia and CFIDS Awareness Day, May 12. Thank you so much!


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With this code, qualified orders (over $19.95 and properly following instruction for submitting freebie requests) will also receive a wonderful free gift of one 30-gram sifter jar with your choice of product - up to a $30.79 value with your purchase! To redeem the free gift offer, please list your requested free product selection in your order comments (not added to your cart!) when you place your order. Promotion items cannot be shipped separately.

Please visit http://www.InnerBeautyGirls.com and click on the "shop" link to get started by viewing our catalog. (I greatly appreciate when my return customers remember to always come back and start at my consultant link so that the computer knows to credit me for your purchases.) If you remember to list my name, Jenni Saake, in the comments section when you place your order, I would appreciate that too. Thank you for your business and support!

DIVAS of the Divine

I was recently given a copy of the book Divas of the Divine - How to Live as a Designer Original in a Knock-Off World and asked to offer my honest review for this blog. This is a large workbook with a cute cover and fun feel to it, but not "fluffy" when it comes down to content. Scriptural context is very important to me and there were times I felt that the authors, Donna McCrary and Sherri Holbert, could have selected stronger support passages for the points they were making, but overall I found the book to be Biblically grounded and the points about living a Christ-centered life to be spot on.

Something delightful about the book format is how the authors take turns sharing pieces of their own lives, intertwining their personal stories by turn, into the rhythms of the book. I loved the contrast in the author's viewpoints - one a tomboy, the other girlie; one a busy mom, the other finding fulfillment outside motherhood;  one outspoken in personality, the other more reserved - and that I could find something to personally relate to in one or the other's experience in nearly every issue they addressed.


It is my understanding that this workbook is only one portion of a larger ministry, and while it was a delightful study on its own, I wouldn't consider it truly "stand-alone" as there were occasional mentions of group activity events (I'm presuming as presented in a leader's guide) that I did not have access to. In these cases I found myself craving the companionship of a small group I could share the study with and feeling a bit "left out" that I didn't fully understand the activity being referenced. I don't know that this is a bad thing as the book is intended to draw women together into accountability relationships ranging from one-on-one partnerships, to mentorship and topical or situational small group needs (based on my own history, I can imagine an infertility support group fitting nicely here).

If you are looking for a tool to build a close one-on-one accountability relationship with a friend, want  to jump start a women's ministry for your church, or have a study need somewhere in between, this is a book you may want to take some time to investigate for yourself. Want to win a copy? Please leave me a comment by Thursday night (along with your email address so I can notify you if you win) and I'll select one commenter to enter into the blog carnival final drawing.
 

Asking a Favor

This post has little to do with "beauty," thought it is beautiful news to my ears. My book, Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss has been nominated by the oldest, and one of the largest, infertility support networks in the nation, as one of the top four "best" infertility books for 2010. Their selections are now open for public vote and I would so appreciate if if you would take a moment and visit www.resolve.org/vote to cast a vote for Hannah's Hope in the "best book" category. Thank you so very much!!!

Woman's Health Hero

I was blessed to be nominated as a Woman's Health Hero and I need your help! (Head's up to my friends who are sensitive to mentions of pregnancy, the sponsors of this award do promote pregnancy-related books on their website, so please be for-warned before following this link.) Out of all entries, just 20 names will be inducted into a Health Hall of Fame. Two Hall-of-Fame selections will receive special honors as either Staff Pick or Audience Choice award determined by the public (that's you!).



You will be allowed to vote on all entries between now and May 14 (extended one week from the prior May 7 deadline), 2010. The entry that receives the highest overall ranking will win the Audience Choice award. Last year's Audience Choice winner was my dear friend Lisa Copen from Rest Ministries. I would be delighted to add a similar honor to my "resume" as I continue working on writing my book on the life of Paul as encouragement for living with chronic pain/illness.

Will you please help me by heading to www.ourbodiesourblog.org/blog/2010/05/comforting-those-with-fertility-challenges-jenni-saake and selecting the "thumbs up" voting button at the bottom of my profile? Thank you so much! :)

Win FREE Makeup & Jewelry

I am helping one of my dearest friends, Julie D., celebrate her 40th birthday. She's hosting a huge birthday bash over on her Mom2Ways blog (yes, she's one of my after-infertility-mom sisters, with her family growing through both the blessings of adoption and birth). She's giving away over 20 wonderful prizes to blog readers this month and one of those prizes is a makeup bag stuffed with Affordable Mineral Makeup™ and some Gurrlie Girl™ jewelry. To enter, head over to http://mom2ways.blogspot.com/2009/09/birthday-bash-giveaway-post.html and leave a comment for item 22 (or any other great prizes you would like to win).



Happy Birthday, Julie!

Beauty in the Shadows

Have you ever heard someone describe a time of trial as, “living under the shadow of [xyz]”? My shadows have included infertility, grief, depression, chronic illness and more. I'm sure you can plug in your own "xyz"s; maybe cancer, abuse, loneliness…

Job and the Psalmist talk of “the valley of the shadow of death.” Shadows impress a dark picture of gloom and heaviness in my mind.

Hope demands I give shadows another look... [To read the remainder of this article, please visit (In)Courage where you can also enter to win a copy of my book, Hannah's Hope.]


Keep scrolling here for a great list of verses that reflect God's sheltering shadows in my life.

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One way God seems to work in my life is through “theme word seasons,” specific life lessons He wants to drive home with me and situations that bring those themes to light over and over until I finally begin to grasp a small portion of what He longs to teach me. Wait resounded in our hearts through the loss of our business and the struggle for my husband to find a new career that truly fit, all in the midst of infertility's endless cycles of hoping and hurting, wanting and worrying, coping and crying.

Waiting has given way to new horizons, a series of theme seasons too numerous to list here, but with one of the most recent being Hope. And then to Hope, God’s spent this year adding the active pursuit of Joy to my life as well. Here are some of my favorite resources from these three themes:

Wait:
- Hannah’s Prayer Ministries offers support through fertility challenges, including infertility or the death of a baby at any time from conception through early infancy.
- A Graceful Waiting by Jan Frank
- The Wait Poem by Russell Kelfer (Truly beautiful book, with a written message even more powerful than the photos! This poem was life-changing for me and has been impactful in many lives.)

Hope:
- Out of the Valley Ministries, Inc. Postpartum Depression Support
- Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg
- Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss by me, Jennifer Saake :)

Joy:
- Rest Ministries provides support in the face of chronic pain and illness, including National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week each Sept.
- Rain on Me: Devotions of Hope and Encouragement for Difficult Times by Holley Gerth
- The book of Philippians, written by the apostle Paul.

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies” Philippians 4:8-9. (MSG)

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Verses that reflect God's sheltering shadows in my life:

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17. (NIV)

“I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3. (NIV)

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned” Isaiah 9:2. (NIV)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:31. (NIV)

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me" Micah 7:7. (NIV)

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield" Psalm 33:20. (NIV)

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God..." Psalm 40:1-2, (NIV)

“I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.
He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light…

“He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship.
He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead…

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness…

“For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love…

“You came near when I called you, and you said, ‘Do not fear.’
O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life…”
- from Lamentations 3 (NIV)

Beauty of Sisterhood

I came across a delightful post this week. It's much more about inner beauty than outward beauty, but I wanted to share it with you all because it made me reflect on the many beautiful friends/sister I have made through the internet over the years, especially through Hannah's Prayer but not only there. My life is truly richer for all the "sisters" God has given me. If you are one, thank you!!!

Take a moment to enjoy You Know You're a Sister When... at http://studiojewel.blogspot.com/2009/07/you-know-youre-sister-when.html (Note to my sisters stuggling with infertility, prengnacy and motherhood are mentioned in this article, so be prepared. But it was in her description of post-partum depression that I most related, not only for my own journey of post-partum depression, but in the same kind of life-giving, life-saving, life-enriching sisterhood of support described here that I found from you all in the midst of our infertility joureny.)

And we are talking about sisters, drop by my post at www.InfertilityMom.blogspot.com/2009/07/having-fun-not-going-to-blogher.html to join in the sisterhood of blogging women who are celebrating this weekend. :)

Infertility and New Life

Last night Melody of Hope of my Heart Designs gave you a chance to win her SpringTime Hope bracelet. If you missed that give-away, go back and look through yesterday's Virtual Spa Weekend posts because you can still enter to win unitl midnight tonight!

Now here's a bit more of Melody's story and God's working in her heart through the grief of infertility, adoption, pregnancy and miscarriage.

We got our PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) diagnosis 3 months after we were married, and started trying to conceive immediately. We tried Clomid after a few months, but it didn’t work. I was such a wreck while on that medicine that we decided that even if we tried with medical assistance later, we would NOT use the Clomid again. We lost our health insurance though, so we stopped trying to conceive for a while.

A year later, we pursued adoption. Nine months after we started the process, our son was born six weeks early. We were allowed to be in the delivery room with his birthmother, and after a week’s stay in NICU, he came home with us. We were thrilled.

Unfortunately, something was still missing. I didn’t know what it was, but I was miserable. Two months later, I finally admitted my problem – I was lost. I never dreamed that God would use infertility and adoption to bring me to Himself, but He did. On July 10, 2004, I finally accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. Finally, that void in my life was filled!

When our oldest was two, he started praying every night, “Dear Jesus, baby please.” I’d never been pregnant and wasn’t really convinced I would ever be. After a year, we were shocked to discover that I was indeed pregnant for the first time!

After our surprise little guy was born, we wondered how God was going to continue to grow our family. Once again, our oldest son started praying for a sibling. It didn’t take as long as we thought it would, but almost as soon as I suspected I was pregnant, I realized that I would never hold that little one this side of Heaven.

Our son kept praying, and we kept hoping for another pregnancy. Two months later, we discovered that I was pregnant AGAIN! We were surprised again at God’s timing. I was much more cautious that time, trying to guard my heart. But now I’m almost 19 weeks pregnant, and so far, baby is doing quite well.

I never dreamed that God would use infertility in my life the way He did, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Welcome to the final morning of our Virtual Spa Weekend. All contest remain open until midnight to night, so please help keep spreading the word today.

Last month I posted a delightful interview with Marlo Schalesky on my "InfertilityMom" blog. Marlo is the author of seven books including the wonderful resource Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling With Infertility and several fiction titles including her newest release If Tomorrow Never Comes.

For a chance to win an autographed copy of this new title, please post a comment here. You may earn additional entries by helping promote Marlo's book and linking to this blog entry from your own website or blog or telling all your friends on Twitter, Facebook, Shoutlife of other social networks to stop by as well. Each time you post about this give-away, come back here and leave another new message for an additional entry!

Hope of My Heart bracelet

Melody of Hope of My Heart Designs has created a beautiful Springtime Hope bracelet for one Virtual Spa Weekend reader. It is made from solid sterling silver, Swarovski crystal, and Czech druk beads and measures 7.5 inches long. To enter this contest simply leave me a comment with some way to contact you, such as a working email address. For extra entries, promote Melody's give-away link on your own site or through social media, then come back and post a new reply with a link to each promotional outlet you have posted. :)

Melody says, "I named it Springtime Hope because the little butterfly beads remind me of the new hope we have each spring with all the new life that is beginning and growing. It is a symbol of the hope we can still have even when going through infertility."



Melody officially started Hope of My Heart Designs when their oldest was about a year old. "It really started when we were in the adoption process – I wanted a bracelet to wear while I waited. People wanted bracelets just like it, and shortly after that, my business was born. I started with infertility bracelets – my hope was that women going through infertility would have a piece of jewelry they could wear that would offer them some hope. Later, I added miscarriage bracelets, adoption bracelets, and mother’s bracelets. Now, I sell a variety of jewelry, but the vast majority of it is still infertility and miscarriage bracelets."

Check back tomorrow morning for more from Melody and the story of how God changed her life through her infertility joureny.

Welcome to Virtual Spa Weekend!

What an exciting weekend ahead of us! I pray that this Virtual Spa Weekend will be a blessing to everyone who visits and that you will be encouraged and refreshed. We have over 20 posts scheduled over the next 50 hours, including books, chocolate, jewelry, video clips, beauty tips, and lots of great give-aways! In between all that blog reading, I challenge you to find some quiet time this weekend to draw a warm bath, light some candles, grab your Bible or a good book, and curl up for some self-parmpering. I'll do my part in encouraging your "spa experience" by posting a series of give-aways, beauty tips and devotional reflections from now through Sunday afternoon. (The give-aways will all remain open for comments/entries until midnight Sunday and prize winners will be announced by Wednesday or sooner.)

Some of you already know me, so you are welcome to skip this introduction and just scroll down to my embarrasing video at the end of the post (but you might want to read the paragraph directly above it for context). ;) For those who are new to InnerBeautyGirlz, please allow me a moment to share a little about myself before we get this Weekend rolling.

My name is Jennifer (Jenni) Saake, also know around the internet (check Shoutlife, Twitter, Facebook, and a slew of message boards) as InfertilityMom. I'm 36 years old and coming up on my 17th wedding anniversary this summer. After a long infertilty journey, Rick and I are the blessed parents of 13 children, 3 of whom we are very thankful to share our daily lives with, 7 whom we will always carry in our hearts though they never officially joined our family through adoption as we had prayed they would, and 3 more who await us in Heaven after their physical deaths in my womb. Through this journey we were able to help establish Hannah's Prayer Ministires nearly 15 years ago and my first book, Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss was published by NavPress in 2005.

I have struggled with health challenges since I was about 8 years old, including Endometriosis and Fibromyalgia in my early teen years. My freshman year of college I faced the dramatic onset of CFIDS (chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome), leaving me almost totally bedridden for about 2 years and facing an uphill battle ever since. My health has become progressively more fragile again over the past few years with my immune system now functioning at only about 5% and the possible diagnosis of a-typical MS on the horizon. The next book I hope to write will be about the life of Paul and his "thorn in the flesh," a book of encouragement to those living with chronic pain and illness. In the meantime I'm keeping a blog called Harvesting Hope from Heartache™, offering hope and resources for a variety of life's challenge and losses (loved ones, health, jobs, marriages, depression...)

In order to live and stay as healthy as possible, I am constantly looking to make wise choices from everything as basic as the air I breath and the water I drink to the food I eat and the cosmetic products I apply to my body. This quest has opened up an amazing world of natural beauty alternatives that I am excited to pass on to InnerBeautyGirlz readers. I am an affiliate with Mountain Rose Herbs and a consultant with both Affordable Mineral Makeup™ and Gurrlie Girl™ Christian Jewerly.

So now that you know a little bit about me, let me get the personal humilation out of the way and kick off our Weekend with this YouTube message I recorded from my bathroom just last week. This video was created specifically for the ladies of Hannah's Prayer Ministries who are gathered in Ohio this weekend for an infertility and pregnancy loss support retreat, so as you think of them I ask that you would lift them in prayer this weekend. But I pray the message of the video will give you a reason to smile, maybe even make you laugh as you see me with no makeup, unbrushed hair and sitting on the side of my tub in a bathrobe, or be an encouragement to you in whatever season of life you find yourself tonight.



Click here to tour the entire Virtual Spa Weekend (so far) or go directly to InnerBeautyGirlz.com to view all resources available through this blog. :) Even after the Weekend officially ends at midnight on Sunday, May 3, the Spa resources will remain here to offer you encouragement and information. Check back on May 6 for our Weekend give-away winner's list and subscribe or "follow" me now in order to receive future updates.

Virtual Spa Weekend!

The first weekend in May, Hannah's Prayer Ministires (Christian infertility and pregnancy loss support ministry I helped launch nearly 15 years ago) will be holding a retreat in OH. There will be about 40 ladies gathered to encourage and support one another. The theme of the weekend will be "Beautiful In His Sight" and the guest speaker is Ginger Garrett, author of Beauty Secrets of the Bible (as well as a devotional book on infertility and several award-winning Christian fiction titles). I know it will be a wonderful, blessed weekend for all who attend!

Unfortunately, there are hundreds of women who are regular participants on the Hannah's Prayer Community Forums who are unable to attend for a variety of reasons (mostly, the prohibitive cost of travel) but would really love to be there. As the excitement builds on our Forums for the ladies who will be attending, the disappointment for those who cannot is growing as well. And so I'm going to be hosting a Virtual Spa Weekend here on my InnerBeautyGirlz blog from May 1-3.

This event will be open to everyone, but especially geared toward the ladies of Hannah's Prayer. I am looking for home-spa ideas, beauty treats and suggestions, guest blogger articles on beauty (with fun tips for our bodies, but also a focus on inner beauty), and product donations for drawings and give-aways throughout the weekend. Since my target readers that weekend will all be dealing with infertility or the death of a baby, I need to specifically avoid child-related posts and products (like using examples from motherhood in your stories).

Please share your suggestions for this event! Have a beauty topic you would like to write a guest blog about? Have a product you would like to donate as a give-away (and get your business featured in the process)? Have any creative ideas and suggestions for creating an at-home-spa experience? I would love to hear from you!

For instructions about how to participate in Virtual Spa Weekend and earn contest entries, check out the Early Bird entries post. :)

Essentail Oils and Infertility Support

I just signed up as an affiliate with Mountain Rose Herbs. I actually haven't even tried their products yet, but I'm drawn to the site for several reasons including that I look out my window at "Mt. Rose" everyday (OK, probably not the one the company was named for, but a mountain that I think is very beautiful). "My" Mt. Rose plays an important part in one of the fiction books I hope to some day write. So even just at the name, this company already had my attention!

They have come highly recommended to me by Leon of the Glowing Diva message boards, a woman I trust for helpful, natural beauty advice. She loves the products, so I'm giving them a try. If anyone else wants to make a purchase, I earn a small commission on any orders placed by entering their website through my referral link at http://www.mountainroseherbs.com/cgi-bin/Main.pl?AID=101123&BID=30 or any of the button/banner links to the site found along my sidebar or in my posts on this blog.

I think my first order will be Lemon Flavoring Extract ($2.97 for 2 ounces) from April's Specials along with both some Tea Tree Essential Oil and some Peppermint Oil to mix in shampoo. I'm so excited to try these!

While we are on the topic of beautiful scents, don't forget to register for the Hannah's Prayer Ministries infertility and miscarriage retreat, Beautiful In His Sight, to be held May 1-3, 2009 in Cincinnati, Ohio. The guest speaker will be Ginger Garrett, author of several books including Beauty Secrets of the Bible and Moments for Couples Who Long for Children. Along with many wonderful beauty secrets, Ginger is an expert on essential oils and fragrances that can enrich your beauty regimen, so her book is a great resource if you are interested in essential oils but wondering how to use them! The retreat registration deadline has been extended to this Wednesday, April 15, so if you or someone you love could use some support and encouragement in the areas of infertility or pregnancy loss, please visit http://www.Hannah.org for details right away!

What's Eating You Up Inside?

Last night, the evening before Valentine's Day, I had the joy of sharing a bit of my story with some new friends. It was a mixed group of women including those who were single, divorced, married, with and without children, those who had lost children and probably more stories than I can imagine.

I wore my favorite red high- necked sweater. Over the sweater I wore a beautiful, large crystal-cut heart necklace. Under my sweater, unseen by anyone, I wore a second heart necklace, one of solid metal and inscribed with the words of John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

We started by talking about thoughts that came to mind when hearing the words “consume” or “consumed". Answers varied from eating and drinking to living in a “consumer-driven” society where we practices "consumerism" of material goods. I then asked for input about what kinds of things we can be consumed by or that consumes us. The first answer was “fire,” followed by more of an understanding of what I was getting at: all-consuming goals, passions, ideas, anger, fear, etc.

I then pointed to my crystal necklace and talked about the ways we can strive to look beautiful on the outside and reflect a good image to the world around us, just like the facets on this necklace reflect beautiful colors and light. To look at most of us you might think that we “have it all together.” But if I take off my necklace (as I did while saying these words) and hold it off by itself, we can see that all that beauty is just outward and that inside there is nothing there but plain glass. Sometime what we portray to the world is simply a disguise for the fragile emptiness we are feeling inside.

We all have different heartaches. Yours may be longing for someone to love or be loved by. It may be seeking fulfillment in an unfulfilling job. It might be trying to make your body look differently than it does in order to fill that void in you heart. For me it was a combination of infertility and losses, along with chronic health issues, that lead me to the point of desperation and even contemplating suicide. No one could see that lonely emptiness inside, but I knew it was there. I was consumed by the pursuit of motherhood and my feelings of failure as a woman because I couldn't get there. The heartache and grief consumed me every day and I felt abandoned by God because it seemed that He didn't even care.

But thankfully how I may "feel" about God doesn't dictate reality. Lamentations chapter 3 is a long book of heartache about all the things this author suffered. But hidden right in the midst of his complaints, he dramatically shifts gears for a few verses and boldly proclaims, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail." While I was busy feeling overlooked by Him, He had already been going out of His way to prove the opposite to me.

What is the value of something? It isn't really the cost of an item as much as it is what someone is really willing to pay. There are many things I don't buy because the price tag is higher than I feel the value to be. But God placed the ultimate value on me when He choose to pay the price of His son's life to prove His love for me! Many of us know the verse John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." God made this verse very personal to me in the midst of infertility when I realized that "God so long to call me His daughter that He allowed the death of His only biological son to pay the price of my adoption."

If you are feeling empty and fragile and wondering about God's love for you, He has proved it better than any knight in shining armor ever could. John 15:13 is engraved on this necklace (as I pull the second necklace out of its hiding place and let it rest outside my sweater) and states that "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Just like this necklace is strong and solid and full of meaning, when I put my hope in God and trust Him at His word even when I don't "feel" Him there, He fills that empty place in my heart with hope.

” Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness…
For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.“

-Lamentations3:21-23, 3:31-32 (NIV)

Beautiful In His Sight Retreat

Event: Hannah's Prayer Retreat
Date: Fri, May 01, 2009 - Sun, May 03, 2009
Place: Cincinnati, OH
Details: This retreat is for married women who have experienced infertility, pregnancy loss, or infant death. Join other sisters in Christ who know the pain these experiences bring, and be encouraged together to look to Christ for hope and healing.

Location: Sheraton Cincinnati Airport Hotel, 2826 Terminal Drive, Hebron, KY 41048

Cost: $200 per person for event, hotel, and all meals. $65 per person local option for event and Friday dinner only.

Speaker: Ginger Garrett, author of several books, including Moments for Couples Who Long for Children and Beauty Secrets of the Bible (a book that has often been spotlighted on this blog).

The theme is "Beautiful in His Sight." Through worship, prayer, encouraging messages, various workshops, and fun & fellowship, we hope to strengthen our relationship with Christ and one another and be reminded that even though our bodies don't work the way they're "supposed to" and our lives are not turning out as we'd planned, we are precious and beautiful and loved by the Lord, and He has a great plan for our lives, whether He sends us children or not.

God brings beauty from the ashes in our journey!

For more information or to register, please visit Hannah's Prayer Ministries at http://www.Hannah.org